I was at PMQs - here's my translation of what (I think) waffling Keir Starmer meant to say
Reach Daily Express March 20, 2025 06:39 AM

Quite what the Mongolian parliamentary delegation were thinking as they watched on during Prime Minister's Questions is anyone's guess. Perched high up in the House of Commons, they had a ringside seat as some of Britain's finest politicians debated the business of the day.

But as they tuned into their translation devices, they weren't required for any language issues, just to interpret what on earth was going on down below. It might have sounded something like this: "Woman in charge of the UK's finances (Rachel Reeves) made some very bad decisions in the autumn which is making lots of people, especially the elderly, skint, putting jobs at risk and wrecking farms and businesses.

"Now she is having to hold an emergency Budgety/statementy thingy next week, having checked down the back of the sofa to see if there's any spare cash left."

The VIPs might be used to this type of stuff - Mongolia is led by a socialist party after all - although I suspect they show more respect for their agricultural community over there.

Anyway, back to the translation, and Keir Starmer's response to Kemi Badenoch.

"We're not holding any emergency Springy/Statementy thingy, and I'll tell you why.

"Because we were left with no money by the last lot (the ), which meant we had to snatch winter fuel payments from pensioners and squeeze farmers out of their hard-earned money.

"The lady in charge of the nation's wallet (Rachel Reeves) has done a really good job and the Government's recent decisions to stop spending billions on starving people around the world and disabled people in Britain was morally right.

"I cannot say if we need any more money or where it will come from or if we really, truly need it, but you will find out during next week's Budgety/fiscally thingamyjig."

Chris Philp, the Shadow Home Secretary, was not happy, sitting Terminator-like on the Tory front bench, locking the Prime Minister in an intense stare.

I was sat feet away from the delegation and they appeared well and truly bemused.

None more so than when Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ed Davey asked the Prime Minister about hare coursing gangs. Another threat to our rural landscape, I might add.

Reform UK's chief whip Lee Anderson appeared to baffle most in the chamber when, after telling MPs about getting "sensible" answers and cutting out the "waffle", he asked the PM if Britain became net zero tomorrow "by how much would we reduce the Earth's temperature by? Simple question".

Starmer responded by mocking Nigel Farage - who was not in the chamber - and his ambitions of becoming prime minister, claiming the Reform UK leader struggles to lead a party that "fits in the back of a taxi".

Minutes later Sir Keir needed a taxi himself after veteran ex-Labour MP Diane Abbott delivered the coup de grâce, telling him there was "nothing moral" about his welfare cuts.

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