In the complex landscape of adulthood, individuals often seem to fall into one of two distinct categories, each with its own set of strengths and challenges. While everyone’s experience of adulthood is unique, these two types represent contrasting ways of navigating life’s responsibilities, relationships, and personal growth.
A comedian named Mike Mancusi took to social media to discuss the differences between the two types of adults and the pros and cons of each. One type tends to embrace structure, planning, and stability, while the other thrives on spontaneity, flexibility, and adaptability. Both paths come with their own set of rewards and difficulties, shaping how people approach work, family, and self-fulfillment.
Understanding these differences can offer valuable insights into human nature and the diverse ways we all try to find balance in an ever-changing world.
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“The first is people who settle in and say ‘this is my life, I’m just going to keep doing this until I die, which is hopefully not going to be for a while’ you know they find their little spouse and their kids or whatever and they just find happiness and peace with that,” saidMancusi.
People who accept their life for what it is tend to have a mindset rooted in contentment and peace. “Settling is usually defined by accepting less than what we deserve or an unhealthy outcome, but this may not always be the case,” Niro Feliciano, LCSW, wrote for Psychology Today. People who settle often find joy in the present moment, focusing on what they have rather than what they lack. This can be very fulfilling, especially in terms of mental health and emotional stability.
Rather than constantly pursuing big goals, they find fulfillment in small, everyday joys. They might enjoy quiet evenings, hobbies, or personal connections more than material accomplishments. These individuals often prioritize stability, creating a life that feels secure and predictable. This could mean having a steady job, close relationships, or a calm routine.
The cons to being a settler can involve complacency. They might avoid stepping out of their comfort zones, which can limit personal growth. These individuals might not have the drive to achieve more, whether it’s in their career, relationships, or personal development. Over time, this lack of ambition could lead to a sense of regret, where they feel like they’ve stopped striving for bigger dreams or dreams they once had.
Mancusi explained, “The second camp are the chasers, people that want to spend their entire life constantly chasing something, pursuing something.” These individuals are typically driven and constantly strive to reach new heights. They often feel a strong sense of purpose and achievement in their lives, especially when they are pursuing something they deeply care about.
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A 2018 study showed that regrets about failing to live up to one’s goals, aspirations, or desires had a direct link to a person’s ideal self or who they hoped to become. Self-esteem is linked to goal achievement. The thought is that when a goal or aspiration reaches fulfillment, it becomes a legacy imparted to others. Whether through work, innovations, or contributions to society, the chaser hopes to be remembered for their success and achievements.
The cons to this are that in their pursuit of their goals, these individuals may prioritize their career or personal ambitions over relationships, whether that’s with friends, family, or romantic partners. The intense focus on their dreams can lead to emotional unavailability or a lack of time and energy for those around them.
These are rare people who have given up on both the pursuit of personal dreams and the effort to maintain relationships, retreating into isolation as a way to cope. This can be a deeply introspective and challenging way of living, where they disconnect from both the external world and their internal desires.
Sometimes, isolation can provide a space for deep introspection. Without external distractions, these individuals may have the opportunity to explore their own minds and values. Some may even find a sort of peace in this solitude, focusing inwardly rather than on external achievements or relationships.
The most glaring downside to this way of living is the profound loneliness. By withdrawing from the world, these individuals miss out on the emotional and social connections that provide meaning, support, and joy. Over time, this can lead to feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and a disconnect from humanity.
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Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
