She is among the most popular bahus of the small screen. Juhi Parmar aka Kumkum has also won Bigg Boss and anchored reality shows. But the 44-year-old introduces herself as ‘A mother first then an actress’ on the Gram. Parmar, who has been raising her 12-year-old daughter Samairra with the help of her parents since her divorce in 2018, spoke to
Neha Bhayana about working-mom guilt, and why single parenting is a balancing act

Acting or parenting — which one is tougher?

For me, both acting and parenting are rewarding, not challenging or tough. I have enjoyed every moment of being an actor and a parent and continue to cherish every step of this path. When you love what you do, it never feels like work. Acting is my passion, and parenting is the most important role of my life. I’m deeply invested in raising Samairra with values that will help her contribute to society. There’s never been a reason to stress, as she’s always been a wonderful, compassionate, and kind-hearted child. Her generosity, talent and bright intellect shine through in everything she does. Not just mine, but she is her teachers’ favourite too, excelling in both academics and extracurriculars. For me, it’s been nothing but pure pride and joy.

Samairra will be a teen next year. The toddler years or the adolescent phase — which is trickier to manage?

Every stage of parenting comes with its own challenges, from raising an infant to a toddler to guiding a teenager. Yet, one thing remains constant — the incredible reward of shaping another human being for the world. My daughter has made every phase of her childhood a sheer joy for me, and I’ve never seen it as something to manage. Instead, it’s been a series of cherished memories that will always be the highlights of my life.

Working in the television industry entails long hours on the sets daily. Is it difficult to balance your career and motherhood?

The balancing can be challenging, but for me, it was made easier by the unwavering support of my parents, especially during Samairra’s early years. When I would go to work, I had peace of mind knowing she was in safe hands. The toughest part was dealing with the emotional strain of being away from her and ‘mom-guilt’ which many working mothers experience. Trust me, it’s the worst part of being a working mother but you remind yourself that there will be a day when your child will be proud of having an independent mother. And, especially as I am a girl-mom, I wanted her to see the importance of being an independent woman so that she becomes one someday. In my case, I have always known that being a single parent, I am working hard for her future, for our future together and I knew this is the right choice.

Strict or soft — what’s your parenting style?

As a single parent, I must strike a balance between being both strict and nurturing, as I am playing the roles of both mother and father. There’s no ‘good cop, bad cop’ dynamic — it’s about knowing when to be firm for her well-being and when to offer love and comfort to her sensitive heart. It’s a constant balancing act, not just between work and personal life, but in finding the right approach as a parent.

Raising a child is difficult even for two parents. What challenges do you face as a single mom?

They say there’s a silver lining in every cloud and rather than worrying about the challenges, I like to look at the positives. I get double the love from her. Every day, she fills my heart with love. I once read somewhere that ‘sometimes a mother and her children are a complete family’ and in our case, Samairra and I are truly one complete family.

Our society is not always kind to single parents. People can be inquisitive and insensitive. Have you faced any issues?

No one has ever approached me directly with insensitive questions, but I do have to face harsh and insensitive comments on social media platforms on and off. But I don’t give any importance to negative people who don’t know the truth or my personal life. I don’t feel the need to respond. If needed, I simply delete and move on. I won’t let anyone disrupt my positive state of mind.

Over the past decade, several single celebrities have had children via adoption or surrogacy and people are more open about divorce too. Has single parenthood gained acceptance?

While society is becoming more open to single parenting, there’s still judgement, especially towards those who become single parents due to divorce. Change takes time, but any progress is progress. I believe in focusing on the positives, and with each generation, I’m confident there will be more acceptance. A child needs both parents, but more than that, a child needs a happy parent. Instead of judging single parents, we should be kind and supportive, as they’re taking on the responsibilities of two.

Do marks matter to you? Are you strict about studies?

Marks are important, but I never pressure her to outperform others or make comparisons. I always tell her that her only competition is herself. She’s bright and does well in exams, but I emphasise that her focus should be on excelling by tapping into her potential and doing her best. As long as she gives her best effort, the result doesn’t matter to me. I’m proud knowing she’s done her best.

Samairra is often part of your reels. Does she use social media too? As she is growing up, how will you teach her to stay safe online?

Samairra and I love to dance. Making reels is just a fun way for us to spend time together. She doesn’t use social media, even though she has an account managed by me. I save videos like cute animal clips or motivational ones, and sometimes we watch them together for fun or life lessons. She doesn’t have access to social media right now, but when she’s older, I’ll teach her about its pros and cons and make sure she stays safe online.

Do you believe in being friends with your child?

Absolutely. Why not be a friend to your child? A friend is someone you can trust, care for, and enjoy being around. A friend is someone who offers support and understanding. Samairra and I call each other best friends because we truly embody what it means to be one.

There is a new trend of gentle parenting these days. Does it work or is old-school discipline more effective?

Balanced parenting is my answer. While firmness is sometimes necessary, it is crucial to remember that children think differently from adults. Gentle explanations are far more effective than harsh or violent methods which can lead to long-term trauma.

What are the values that your parents taught you that you wish to pass on to your daughter?

I was raised with the value of honesty , and I’ve passed that lesson on to Samairra. Honesty is the greatest virtue because it builds trust and credibility. When you’re honest, you earn respect from others and yourself. Your words hold real weight. It’s a lesson I deeply cherish, and one I’ve already instilled in her.