In every Indian family gathering, there’s always that one topic no one talks about but everyone funds. Dowry. And then there’s another topic everyone talks about, but no one funds—with support, that is. Divorce. One is illegal, harmful, often life-destroying, and yet is seen as tradition. The other is legal, often life-saving, and yet is seen as scandal. That alone should make us stop and think. But we don’t. Because we’ve learned to call injustice culture and courage rebellion—as long as it’s a woman doing the leaving. Let’s unpack that.

1. The Injustice We Call Normal Let’s start with dowry. Not the word—we all know the word. The practice. The hushed negotiations. The passive-aggressive “gifts.” The family pride attached to what the bride brings with her, as if love came with an invoice. We all know it happens. Most of us have seen it. Many have even participated in it, willingly or unwillingly. It's one of those things we’ve collectively agreed to ignore while loudly posting on social media about women’s empowerment.
Because if we admitted what it really is—an economic transaction wrapped in flowers—we’d have to reckon with the fact that most of our so-called sacred marriages were never truly about love or partnership. They were deals. Sometimes beautiful. Sometimes brutal. But deals all the same.

2. When a Woman Leaves, It’s Called a Crisis Now here’s what’s wild: even though dowry is everywhere, it barely makes the news anymore. Not unless it ends in something unthinkable—like death. And even then, the coverage is brief, the tone hesitant. But let a woman walk away from a toxic marriage? Suddenly, it’s “the breakdown of Indian values.” Why?
Because a woman staying silent, even in pain, fits into our idea of virtue. But a woman choosing peace over suffering. That looks like danger. It looks like a warning to the system. It looks like a life reclaimed—and in a culture that feeds on sacrifice, reclamation is unforgivable.

3. We Fear Her Freedom More Than Her Pain Let’s be honest—most people aren’t afraid of divorce itself. They’re afraid of what it represents. That a woman who was once controlled, judged, and silenced could now live on her own terms. That she could stop performing roles and start living as a person. That she might stop settling for survival and start choosing joy.
And that scares a society built on obedience. We aren’t protecting marriage. We’re protecting the illusion that women don’t—or shouldn’t—have exit doors. That love must be endured, not examined. That suffering, when done quietly, is somehow more respectable than seeking freedom.

4. What We Should Actually Be Worried About Here’s what we should call a crisis: That most young girls are still taught how to adjust, but not how to walk away. That families still spend years saving for dowry but not a day preparing their daughters to be financially or emotionally independent.
That we still whisper behind a divorced woman’s back like she committed a crime, instead of asking why she had to make that choice in the first place. That we’re raising boys to believe being chosen is more important than being worthy. And maybe most of all—that we have made women’s endurance the cornerstone of our culture, and called it strength.

5. Leaving Isn’t Failure. Sometimes It’s the First Step Toward a Real Life. Divorce isn’t always a tragedy. Sometimes it’s the first honest decision in years. It’s the moment a woman chooses herself—not out of selfishness, but because no one else was choosing her well.
Let’s be clear: not every marriage is bad. Many are beautiful, supportive, resilient. But when one isn’t—when it becomes a place of isolation, control, or quiet dying—staying isn’t noble. It’s erasure. And walking away? That’s not shame. That’s clarity. That’s healing. That’s resistance.

Respect a Woman’s Right to Leave One Here’s the truth: dowry has ruined more marriages than divorce ever has. But we keep blessing the former and shaming the latter. It’s time we flipped that. Because a culture that fears a free woman more than a transactional marriage isn’t protecting values.
It’s protecting power. And power, when afraid, always looks for someone to blame. Usually, that someone is the woman who didn’t break. She just refused to bend.

Final Thought
If you're more uncomfortable with a woman’s divorce than with her dowry… You’re not worried about her future. You’re worried she won’t need you to survive it. And maybe, just maybe—that’s the future we should be working toward. Where no woman has to choose between dignity and belonging ever again. Where love isn’t a burden she has to earn with silence. Where freedom isn’t a rebellion. But a right. And no longer rare.