My mother-in-law says sending my son to international school is wasteful and pretentious
Sandy Verma October 23, 2025 03:24 PM

By Thuy Han  &nbspOctober 22, 2025 | 08:37 pm PT

As a former primary school teacher, my mother-in-law believes good manners and hard work matter more than a fancy learning environment.

My husband and I have been married for seven years and have a five-year-old son. We both work office jobs and earn a decent income, enough to live comfortably in the city though not wealthy.

As our son gets ready to start first grade, I have been thinking about enrolling him in an international bilingual school with a friendly environment that focuses on life skills. The tuition is higher but I believe it is a worthy investment in his future. My husband does not mind either choice and leaves the decision up to me.

Choosing a school for the child is an important and divisive decision. Photo by Pexels

When I shared the plan with my family, my mother-in-law objected immediately. She said, “You both went to a public school and turned out fine. Why waste money like that? Sending him to an international school is just showing off.” I know she means well and only worries we might struggle financially, but her words still hurt.

My mother-in-law is a frugal, simple woman. As a former primary school teacher, she believes that as long as a child is well-behaved and hardworking, there is no need for a fancy learning environment. She even mentioned a neighbor whose child attended an international school until the parents’ business declined. They had to transfer the child to a public school, and the sudden change left the kid withdrawn and falling behind in class.

My husband, caught in the middle, avoids taking sides. He understands I only want the best for our son but does not want to upset his mother. Every time I bring up the topic of schooling, he changes the subject. It is exhausting to feel like I have to ask for permission to make decisions about my own child.

I still respect my mother-in-law and try to keep things civil, but the generational gap is hard to bridge. I never thought my son’s education would become a point of conflict in the family. I just want him to learn in a better, more confident environment, not to show off, but because I understand the limits of the old system. How can I resolve this situation with as little tension and damage as possible? I really appreciate some advice.


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