A woman posted on Reddit describing how difficult it is for introverts to thrive in corporate culture. Her post sparked a discussion about how socializing plays a major role in professional success, and people who struggle with anxiety or simply prefer not to interact are penalized despite the quality of their work.
The expectation that workers socialize with their co-workers outside work hours, such as after work or on weekends, can be a complex issue that depends on various factors and individual preferences. For this particular worker, as a neurodivergent introvert, she prefers to interact with co-workers only as it pertains to her work. She wants to get her work done and go home.
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In her Reddit post, the corporate employee explained that the jobs she had either quit or been fired from were not performance-based; rather, her introverted personality clashed with the socializing aspect of the corporate world. “I’m a good worker, and have always been told by upper management however I’m an introvert and don’t do anything besides work,” she admitted. “Outside of my first job, I never went [to voluntary] meetings, work parties that were out of work/office hours.”
On top of that, she preferred not to socialize with colleagues, accept friend requests, or go out of her way to talk to her co-workers about topics that didn’t pertain to work and assignments. Her personal life and work life were kept completely separate.
“I just did my job and left on time or when someone was able to release me,” she added. “It also doesn’t help that I’m neurodivergent so I [stink] at social cues. I just want to do what I’m paid for and go home.”
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This worker’s description isn’t just bellyaching. Being an introvert in a corporate-driven world isn’t easy. Dr. Carey Yazeed, a behavioral scientist who specializes in psychological safety in the workplace, explained, “When we talk about psychological safety in the workplace, introverts tend to struggle the most. Employers tell us to “show up as your authentic self,” but when we show up as non-social, low energy employees who simply come to work, do our jobs and leave, we are often ostracized and labeled as awkward and/or antisocial.”
While some workers may enjoy socializing with their colleagues outside of work, it’s not for everyone, and it shouldn’t be forced in a company environment. People have different comfort levels with sharing their personal lives with colleagues. Forcing employees to socialize outside of work might violate their privacy and make them uncomfortable.
The question really is: If being the office social butterfly is outside your job requirements, do you still have to engage? This worker isn’t the activity director or VP of sales, so what difference does their penchant to eat alone at lunch have to do with their performance?
The problem is that corporate culture, specifically American corporate culture, has created a hustle mentality that only seems to reward those who put themselves second to their work. The belief is that working long hours and staying behind to get involved in the work culture is seen as dedicated and ambitious. This results in employees competing to be the most liked and the hardest workers. It’s literally a no-win situation that only seems to benefit employers.
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“I was fired from a job once after about 2 months because they thought I wasn’t interested in the job. Why [did they think] that? My manager thought I was ‘too quiet’ and ‘didn’t ask enough questions,'” one Reddit user shared.
Another user added, “Office jobs are exhausting for me not because of the work but because of the energy it takes for me to pretend to be an extrovert and be extra conscious of how I present myself for eight hours a day.”
So, what is the solution? As with everything, it’s complicated. Some might say introverts should choose work that doesn’t require the social aspect of corporate culture in the same way a person without artistic inclinations shouldn’t be an art teacher. But is it really the same thing?
This worker was told she was a good performer. That means she’s capable of doing the work. She just doesn’t want to do any more than that. Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as that.
According to a 2023 YouGov poll, extroverts have a leg up in basically all aspects of life over introverts, but particularly in professional settings. According to the poll, “Americans are more likely to believe that extroverts make better leaders than to believe that introverts do, at 52% vs. 9%.” What’s worse? Twenty-five percent believe they also make better colleagues and co-workers.
Sadly, that means if introverts want to climb the corporate ladder, they have to make themselves adapt to the extroverted world. Shawna Gann, Ph.D., CEO and principal coach and consultant at True Culture Coaching & Consulting, told VeryWellMind, “Knowing that people with introverted tendencies can experience energy drain in fast-paced, super social situations, if it’s unavoidable, I think the best thing a person can do is prepare. Make sure you know your boundaries and when you are approaching them so you can have a getaway plan to recharge.”
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Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
