We often think about what love should be like, but when we find the right person, love changes our thinking. Something similar has happened with actress Akanksha Ranjan Kapoor, who recently spoke openly about her partner and her beautiful love story. The actress of the film ‘Jigra’ told how true love has brightened her life.

“When I met my partner (filmmaker Sharan Sharma), the first good thing was that everyone around him loved him so much. People used to say, ‘You are the luckiest person in the world to have him’,” Akanksha said.

She adds, “To be honest, I am not easy to handle. I am an opinionated girl, I don’t fall into the ‘Okay, whatever my husband says, I will accept it’ category, and this is something that many men cannot tolerate.”

Akanksha told how her partner changed her thinking. “There were always boundaries in my life – my sister, my friends, my family. I used to wonder why a boy should be the center of my world? But now all those boundaries have not only been broken, but have melted away beautifully.”

Listening to Akanksha, one realizes how important it is to find a good partner. But the question is how to identify the right partner? Psychologist Shruti Padhye answers this question, who tells what things should be kept in mind while choosing a life partner.

5 golden rules for choosing a partner

1. Emotional intelligence is more important than the initial ‘spark’
It’s exciting to feel a ‘spark’ when you meet someone, but it’s not enough to make a relationship work. What makes a relationship last is emotional intelligence. Can your partner admit his mistake and apologize sincerely? Can he resolve conflicts without blaming anyone? If not, that initial attraction will quickly fade when faced with the real challenges of life.

2. Not a hobby, but a thought.
Often we think that if our hobbies (like watching movies, travelling) meet, everything is fine. But meeting ‘thinking’ is more important than hobby. Do you both have similar opinions on big issues like money, family, career, and raising children? If your thinking is different on these basic things, then tension is sure to arise in the long run.

3. What kind of relationship does he have with himself?
This is very important. A person who is not happy with himself cannot keep you happy. Pay attention to how he talks about himself, how he deals with his failures, and whether he understands his own feelings. A person who is aware of himself will not impose his problems on you and will support you in your difficult times.

4. How do you ‘feel’ when you are with them?
Sometimes our body senses things which our mind cannot understand. Notice how when you are with them, do you feel calm, safe and comfortable? Or are you constantly restless, trying to prove yourself, or living in fear that you might say something wrong? If you don’t feel comfortable with them, that’s a big ‘red flag’.

5. What does the story of old relationships tell?
This doesn’t mean that you should count their previous partners. Rather it is to understand how they handled their past relationships. Do they themselves take any responsibility for the breakup, or do they blame their former partner as ‘crazy’ or ‘wrong’ every time? A person who does not learn from his mistakes can repeat the same mistakes with you.

Sonakshi Sinha also believes that it is very important to recognize ‘red flags’ and ‘green flags’ in a partner. After all, choosing the right partner is not just a matter of heart, but also of some wisdom.