Slowly but surely, our society is accepting that traditional gender roles belong in the past. No longer does a man have to be the breadwinner for his family, and women aren’t expected to carry the burden of caring for the home on their own anymore. Modern couples understand this, but it’s a bit harder to accept for some in older generations.
One man found that his dad, a baby boomer, was one of those older people who had a difficult time accepting this. His mom passed away a few years ago, and his dad misses her, but not for the reasons you might think.
“My mother passed from cancer several years ago,” the son said at the beginning of his post. “My father (born in the early 1950s) has not dealt with it well and has refused all attempts at my (his son’s) helping or therapy.”
He shared some background information on his parents so Redditors would understand their dynamic. “My dad ran a small business and my mom, after having me, left her previous career path to go in as his part-time secretary,” he explained. “She was in the office with him twice a week for minimum wage and did the housework the rest of the week.”
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During a conversation with his father, the son heard something that took him by surprise. “Today, while out to lunch with my father — we only do this every other month or so because of his anger issues — he talked about how he really misses my mother, especially because now there’s no one else to do the laundry or the dishes,” he said. That’s right, this man’s dad misses his wife who passed away because of the chores she took care of.
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“I listened and nodded,” he continued sullenly. “This has been a familiar conversation since Mom died. I reminded him that I am the primary cook, dishwasher, and laundry person for my household.”
This didn’t sway his dad. “His response was an angry one,” he said. “‘It’s different for your generation. In my generation, the man brings home the bacon and the wife does the dishes and laundry.’”
The son asked his dad why he didn’t believe he ever felt resentful about his own role. He replied, “‘My generation knows that there are certain responsibilities that men aren’t supposed to do. Your generation is all mixed-up.’”
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Typically, we think of older generations as being more conservative and sticking to tradition. However, this may be a false stereotype in and of itself. In their 2024 International Women’s Day Study, Ipsos found that younger people actually had a harder time accepting gender equality.
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Despite the belief that young people are more liberal, 57% of Gen Zers and 60% of millennials thought their country did too much to give women equal rights with men. This was compared to only 43% of boomers who felt the same. A study published in the journal Generations noted, “There has been much speculation around the aging of the Baby Boom Generation because they were at the forefront of turbulent social changes in women’s roles, marriage, and childbearing.”
Many older people are more conservative because they grew up during a very different time in history. However, it’s important to remember that they also experienced a lot of change themselves. Saying that boomers have skewed views of gender roles as a blanket statement would actually be incorrect. They were the first generation to see women take on new roles in life, and they haven’t forgotten it. This man appears to be an outlier.
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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
