Hello everyone!Okay, so my mother-in-law has a terrible habit of telling and discussing everything I do with her two married sisters, who I would say are like evil masterminds. My mother-in-law wouldn’t even allow the slightest change in the kitchen. For example, I can’t even drink tea in my favorite cup; she puts it away with my other crockery after a day or two and tells me to use the cups she uses instead. She also puts my crockery or small things that belong to my kids away in cabinets or hides them, only for me to later find them dirty or damaged.

I respect her space and ownership and do not try to challenge her in any way, but I want her to respect my space too. I have been living in this house for almost 6 years, yet she has limited me and my children to my room. If we keep anything in the store or any other place, my mother-in-law or sisters-in-law have a problem with it. They either hide it or put it away after ruining its condition and then shame me for placing things there, even though I already have my own room.

Whenever I am at my parents’ house, they use my room. Once, one of my sisters-in-law even cleaned my room, including my drawers, and threw away my things without even asking me. Then she told my father-in-law that I have a habit of keeping rubbish and that she did me a favor. The items she called “rubbish” were almost empty perfume bottles of my favorite perfumes and other similar things.

I think the whole in-law situation is messed up because I struggle to claim or own my space. If they use my cupboards or room without my permission, it’s considered “decluttering” and I should be thankful. But I cannot place any of my own belongings anywhere without their approval. And whenever this issue is discussed, they act very nice and say, “The whole house is theirs anyway.” So it feels like, even in this big house, I cannot have authority over my own room. Please give your advice. Thanks .

Solutions; Shaheera Siddiqui

Most of us have lived this kind of life, and some are still living it. I don’t understand why a man can’t protect his own family. Why can’t he see his wife and children and their belongings being pushed into just one room? Why is he okay with his family living like refugees? Why are some men so weak that they can’t move out and build their own home, while a girl leaves her family and her whole world for that one man?

Naila Ashraf

If these things are really true, then such women are a stain on the name of mothers-in-law. Tomorrow, when they become ill, with what face will they ask for care? When they die, it will be the daughter-in-law who has to do all the work. I have a message for all mothers-in-law: become such a person that later your daughter-in-law’s tears do not stop. May both the world and God be pleased.

Mishal Khan

There is something called speaking up for yourself and setting boundaries, like keeping your belongings in locked cabinets and locking your room door, even installing cameras in your room if needed.

If that doesn’t work, there is another approach called being thick-skinned—doing what you want and staying silent or unbothered when confronted.

So what is the point of asking others for advice instead of finding your own solutions?

This story is taken from the DHA Ladies official Facebook group, which has more than 134K followers.

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