A mom claimed her husband was rather upset with her after learning that she didn’t include his children when she went out to buy school supplies for the kids they share together.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, the 35-year-old shared that her ex accused her of being “cold” because she refused to cater to the needs of her kids’ half-siblings.
“My ex-husband and I have two children together (12,11). We divorced about 10 years ago now because I feel like he regressed as a husband and a father during my second pregnancy, and he was even worse when our younger son was born,” she recalled in her Reddit post.
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She explained that during the custody battle, he fought for 50% custody, which he wasn’t given. For the first 2 to 3 years, he was allowed every other weekend, a two-week stint during the summer, and alternating holidays. After being more involved in his sons’ lives, he was eventually granted 50% custody. It was during this time that she found out her ex-husband was having another child.
“He ended up with full custody of his third child. Then he met his wife. They have two more children together now. There are two kids in her life, but I don’t believe they’re her biological children anyway, who she is also partially supporting,” she continued.
At first, she and her ex-husband were able to co-parent seamlessly, but as his second marriage fell apart, her role began to feel more complicated.
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She admitted that her ex started treating her as if she were a co-parent to his other children. He’d bring his kids to custody exchanges and interactions that were only supposed to be the two of them and their sons. Then the requests started coming in for her to babysit his children, which she never did. She attempted to argue that they were only co-parents to their two sons and not his other kids, but he didn’t seem to get the memo.
“It was requests for me to have his children in my home or to take them out to eat with me and our kids. And finally, it has turned into back-to-school craziness. I bought supplies for the boys and he told me I hadn’t bought nearly enough for everyone.”
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As it stands, school supply shopping isn’t cheap. Families with children in elementary through high school plan to spend an average of $874.68 on clothing, shoes, electronics, and school supplies, according to the National Retail Federation and Prosper Insights & Analytics’ annual survey.
With how expensive back-to-school shopping is, it’s unreasonable to assume that just because his ex-wife is providing for their sons means that she should extend that same treatment to her sons’ half-siblings.
She’s not their biological mother, and while she has a duty to treat them with respect and kindness whenever she sees them, she’s not responsible for any of their needs. That’s her ex-husband’s job, along with their respective mothers.
When she brought this up to him, her ex-husband accused her of being “cold.” Even though he’s still married and it’s up to the two of them to work out finances for their children, he argued that they don’t have enough money to spend on their kids. Again, as harsh as it sounds, that’s not really her issue.
“I told him we don’t have five children; we have two, the two I bought those for. I told him I am responsible for our children, not his three others. I told him he has a wife, they share two of those children, the other is in their home, so it’s up to them,” she added.
Life can be quite expensive, and raising children is nothing cheap. She’s clearly doing the best she can to give her two sons a good life and provide for them.
She shouldn’t be responsible for stretching herself thin just to accommodate her ex-husband when the two aren’t even together.
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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
