Everything You Fear Losing Was Never Yours to Begin With - The Bhagavad Gita's Lesson
Times Life March 17, 2025 07:39 PM
There’s a moment we all go through—the gut-wrenching realization that something we love, something we built our life around, is slipping away. A relationship, a job, an identity we spent years constructing. And in that moment, we panic. We tighten our grip, as if holding on harder will change the inevitable. But what if I told you that everything you fear losing was never truly yours to begin with? Not in the cynical, “nothing matters” way. But in the profoundly liberating way.

1. Attachment Is the Source of Suffering—Not Loss

Clinging to outcomes creates pain, not the loss itself.


The Bhagavad Gita says it straight: You have the right to your actions, but never to the fruits of those actions. In other words, do your best, but don’t cling to the outcome like it owes you something. We suffer because we attach ourselves to things that were never meant to be possessed.
We convince ourselves that love should stay forever, that success is something we can lock in a safe, that life owes us stability. But life moves. It shifts, evolves, and sometimes, it takes things with it. And when that happens, we break—not because of the loss itself, but because we expected permanence in a world that has never promised it.

2. You Don’t Own People Or Outcomes

Love, success, and stability were never yours to control.


We like to believe that if we love someone enough, they’ll never leave. That if we work hard enough, we’ll never fail. That if we plan meticulously, life will unfold exactly as we envisioned. But people are not possessions. Love is not ownership. And success is not a guaranteed trade-off for effort.
The truth is, no matter how much we invest in something—a relationship, a career, a version of ourselves—there will always be factors beyond our control. And that’s not unfair; that’s just how life works. What is yours? Your ability to show up fully. To love without fear. To give your best, knowing that the outcome was never yours to control in the first place.

3. Control Is an Illusion—And Letting Go Is Power

Trying to control life only leads to suffering.


We try to control life because we think it will keep us safe. We think if we plan, if we hold on tightly enough, we can prevent loss, pain, or uncertainty. But no amount of control will change the nature of existence. Everything you have today is borrowed—your relationships, your job, even your body. None of it is truly yours. And instead of making that a source of fear, the Bhagavad Gita invites us to see it as freedom.
Because when you stop clutching at life, you start living it. When you let go of the desperate need to control people, they are free to love you without conditions. When you stop needing success to look a certain way, you make space for unexpected opportunities. When you surrender to life’s uncertainty, you find the kind of peace that circumstances can’t take away.

4. So, What Now?

See loss as a reminder to live, not possess.


The next time you catch yourself panicking over what you might lose, ask yourself: Was it ever mine to keep? Did I own this person, or was I simply given the gift of their presence for a while? Did I own this success, or was I given an opportunity to create something meaningful? Did I own this version of myself, or am I meant to keep evolving?
Loss is not the enemy. It is simply the reminder that we are not here to possess—we are here to experience. To love fully, to give wholeheartedly, to live without the illusion that we are in control. Because the sooner you let go, the lighter you become. And in that lightness, you might just find the very thing you’ve been looking for all along.
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