A mum-to-be is grappling with a difficult dilemma after learning her husband wants to their unborn daughter after his dead wife.

According to this her husband sadly lost his wife, Sarah, five years ago and wishes to honour their by giving her the same name.

His new wife isn't all that comfortable with the idea and would much rather their little girl have "her own identity" rather than bear a loaded with so much tragic history. She's tried to find a compromise they are both happy with, but there's no budging at all from his end—and now his family has come forward with their own thoughts on the matter.

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Taking to the anonymous pregnant woman revealed how she expressed her discomfort over the name choice to her husband, explaining: "I don’t want to feel like I’m raising their child instead of our child."

Unfortunately, her husband responded with fury, and now won't take no for an answer. The fed-up wife wrote: "He blew up, saying I was being selfish and disrespecting Sarah’s memory. I offered compromises—using Sarah as a middle name or picking something similar—but he refused, saying if I really loved him, I’d understand."

After their argument, her husband relayed what had happened to his family, who quickly made it crystal clear whose side they were on.

The woman recounted: "His mother called me a 'jealous replacement', and his sister said I should be 'grateful' to honor Sarah. Even my own mother thinks I should just give in. [My husband] barely speaks to me now, saying I’m ruining something important to him."

Reaching out to fellow users for advice, she added: "I feel like our daughter deserves her own identity, but am I the a****** for standing my ground?"

A number of commenters weren't impressed by the poster's husband had handled the situation, and urged her to stand her ground.

One person advised: "Tell him that his mother called you a 'replacement' and that if he does not get her to sincerely apologize or go NC with her, you will divorce him. You are what you are and he should have married you for you, not as a mere substitute for a real wife.

"Tell him that he needs to decide if Sarah's memory is more important to him than his living wife's feelings about her own child. If it is, you want a divorce."

Another warned: "Any sentence that starts with 'If you love me, you would….' is emotional blackmail and a huge red flag."

A third reflected: "Whenever I hear 'if you really love me' I just want to scream. It should really be, 'Wait while I manipulate and force an ultimatum'. If a partner uses that phrase, they don't know what love is.

Do you have a story to share? Email me at julia.banim@reachplc.com

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